Super Mario RPG: Whacked Legend of the Seven Stars
by Kirby777
Summary: R&R! This goes to all Mario haters! (like me) Enjoy. Rated G for the most widely used reason.
1. Gimme my coin!

I don't own Super Mario RPG, Square, or anything else except for the stuff that wasn't in Super Mario RPG. (I made him up) Don't hold it against me if I insult you or if my views on some characters.  
  
Princess Toadstool (from here on labeled as Peach) was outside Mario's house smelling flowers. Suddenly, everything goes dark. Bowser comes down and takes the Peach to his castle. Mario here's a scream and bursts from his door. He runs as fast as he can toward Bowser's castle. When he gets to Bowser...  
  
Mario: "Look at the size of those chandeliers! Hey! There's Bowser! Time to take back the princess!"  
  
Peach: "Mario! Why do you keep following me?"  
  
Bowser: "Let's fight! It's just you and me!"  
  
Mario jumps toward Bowser, Bowser dodged, Mario slammed into the chain, and it falls.  
  
Bowser: "At least we're both going!"  
  
Mario and Bowser started a fist fight in which Bowser would have won if it weren't for the fact that Mario jumped off the chandelier and caught the chain. Bowser fell down and crashed on the floor.  
  
Peach: "(mumbling) drat. Mario! You won! Let's go!"  
  
A large sword fell through the sky, smashing through Star Road, and crashed into Bowser's Keep.  
  
Peach: *shrieks* "Mario! I'm going to fall!"  
  
Mario, Peach, and Bowser fly in different directions. Mario landed in his house and landed on a hangar. No one knew where Peach and Bowser were. Toad rushed into Mario's house and came to a screeching halt in front of Mario.  
  
Toad: "Mario! You know, most people use something called a door to enter their houses. I think that you should get down before you choke."  
  
Mario: "A lettle halp."  
  
Toad: "Sure."  
  
Toad climbed on the bed, grabbed Mario, and threw him on the floor.  
  
Toad: "There. Where's Peach?"  
  
Mario: "Don't...know.."  
  
Toad: "What do you mean you don't know? I think you should know more than me."  
  
Mario: "Hang on."  
  
Mario rushed to the castle. When he came to the gate, he saw a strange looking sword stuck in the castle. It was a long sword, it had a white skull head at the end of the handle, a yellow head and claws at the bottom of the blade, and the handle was striped red and black.  
  
Exor (the sword): Who are you? You are very tiny!"  
  
Mario: "I'm just short for my age."  
  
Exor: "I think that you should get out of here."  
  
Exor started, quickly and rapeatedly, opening and closing his mouth. Mario looked down and saw that the bridge was cracking.  
  
Mario: "I wonder if there's water under the bridge."  
  
Mario jumped backwards until he landed on the hill. The rushed back to his house to tell Toad.  
  
Toad: "Hi, Mario. How'd it go?"  
  
Mario: "The bridge fell. We can't get to Bowser's Keep anymore."  
  
Toad: "Oh, $%@#!"  
  
Mario: "!!!! Ummm, let's think of something useful to do."  
  
Toad: "I think we should tell the Chancelor! He needs to know what has happened to the princess."  
  
Mario: "Ok."  
  
Toad shoved four mushrooms into Mario's item pouch and ran as fast as he could toward Mushroom Kingdom.  
  
Mario: "..."  
  
When Mario and Toad arrived at Mushroom Kingdom....  
  
Mario: "I guess I'll go right into the castle."  
  
He opened the castle and followed Toad to the castle's throneroom. The chancellor was at the top of a small staircase.  
  
Chancellor: "Where's the princess?"  
  
Mario: "Bowser kidnapped her, I tried to take her back, but when I tried to, there was a crash, and we all went flying."  
  
Chancellor: "Is that all? I thought it was something important! So, where's the princess."  
  
Toad: "She's not here."  
  
Chancellor: "I know that, genius!"  
  
Mario: "No one knows where she's at."  
  
Chancellor: "Oh. Go find her."  
  
Mario: "Ok."  
  
Toad: "Can I help?"  
  
Chancellor: "No. You have to stay here and clean the throneroom."  
  
Mario: "Bye."  
  
Mario left the castle. But on his way to the exit of the castle, he stole everything from the storage vault. As he exited the castle, he saw a young....white thing wearing blue and white striped pants and brown shoes. He was chasing a purple crocodile carrying a bag. The crocodile jumped up onto a ledge, the white thing tried to jump up there too, and slammed into the wall. When he started crying, it started raining. As Mario rushed to the kid, he got the most evil idea. He ran to the kid, picked him up, and pulled down his pants. He called everyone and everyone started laughing. The kid pulled up his pants and ran away crying. He bumped into an angel- like person. She was about 9 feet, thin, bald, and wore a white dress with a slit near the left side of it. He pointed at Mario and talked to her with tears flowing down his face. She was staring at Mario with a mean look on her face. Mario cringed as she approached him.  
  
Angel woman: "Did you pull down that kid's pants?"  
  
Mario: "Y...yes."  
  
Angel woman: "You'll pay for that."  
  
Mario: "Well, in that case, I didn't."  
  
Angel woman: "You're not getting off that easy."  
  
Mario: "Oh, boy."  
  
Angel woman: "My name is Savianna. This is your punishment."  
  
Savianna pulled out a bow and a sword. *battle*  
  
Savianna: "This will show you not to pick on little kids like that!"  
  
Mario lunged at her and hit her with his hammer twice. There was a white cross flash around Savianna as she notched 6 arrows into her bow and launched them right at his gut. Mario was in the critical zone. He used a mushroom. Savianna threw her sword into the air and commanded it to dance. It flew all by itself right threw Mario. *battle over*  
  
Savianna: "Never pick on a little guy."  
  
Mario: "Ouch..."  
  
Toad came running from the castle toward Mario. He used a 'Pick Me Up' on him and dragged him to the inn.  
  
Savianna: "Mallow, do you want help in getting your coin back?"  
  
Mallow: "Yes!"  
  
Savianna: "I think Mario will help now that I gave him an attitude adjustment."  
  
Mario: "I'll go."  
  
Savianna: "See?"  
  
Mallow: "Heheh."  
  
Savianna: "Do you mind if he goes?"  
  
Mallow: "....I guess."  
  
Savianna: "Good."  
  
Mario: "Ok."  
  
Chapter finished. Don't worry. The next chapter will be better. What do you think? 


	2. Star 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Magmore either. My brother already mentioned that someone else owned it. I just don't want you to think it's me. It's one of our friends. Note: I am using my versions of Limit Breaks, Overdrives, or whatever. They're called Power Releases. Square owns Overdrives and Limit Breaks. I mad my own version.  
  
  
Author's note: Ok, last chapter was a bit wierd. I'll add a few more characters that I made up.   
  
  
Mario, Mallow, and Savianna were in Bandit's way chasing Croco.   
  
  
Mario: "I wonder where he is."  
  
  
Mallow: "I think he's in that back area."  
  
  
Savianna: "We'll catch him."  
  
  
Mallow: "Yeah!"  
  
  
They came to the dead end with all those grass mounds and bushes.  
  
  
Savianna: "There he is."  
  
  
Mallow tackled Croco and started pounding him, Mario smashed Croco's tail with his hammer, and Savianna aimed her sword at his neck.   
  
  
Savianna: "Give the coin."  
  
  
Croco: "I'll give it to you if you let me up."  
  
  
Mallow: "Right."  
  
  
Croco: "You believed me? I was lying!"  
  
  
*Battle*  
  
  
Mario flashed a red spade and launched little fire balls at Croco. Mallow flashed a green club and a few lightning bolts struck Croco. Savianna flashed a white cross and threw her sword in the air, commanded it to dance, and it flew straight at Croco. Croco used a wierd mushroom. Mario used fire orb again. Mallow double punched him. Savianna shot an arrow at Croco, forcing him to give up the frog coin.  
  
  
Mallow: "Thank you."  
  
  
They hurried back to Mushroom Kingdom and found that it was being terrorized by Shysters. Savianna pulled out her bow and shot all of the Shysters outside of the castle.   
  
  
Savianna: "Heh."  
  
  
Mario: "WOW!"  
  
  
Mallow: "Cool........"  
  
  
They went shopping for a few Pick Me Ups, Mushrooms, and Honey Syrups.  
  
  
Savianna: "Let's go to the castle. There's probably some trouble there."   
  
  
On their way..........  
  
  
Savianna: "Is that Lily?!"  
  
  
Lily: "I am."  
  
  
Lily was an angel that looked alot like Savianna. The only difference was that Lily had silver wings and Savianna had golden wings.  
  
  
Mario: "How many cute angel ladies are there?"  
  
  
Lily: "Oh, great. I have to go with you, a little white puffball, and a perverted plumber."  
  
  
Savianna: "I've been here longer than you."  
  
  
Lily: "Poor you."  
  
  
Savianna: "Thank you."  
  
  
Mallow: "Let's just save the chancellor."  
  
  
Mario: "Are they all as pretty as you two?"  
  
  
Savianna: "Sorry. I don't date little, fat, stupid, perverted plumbers."  
  
  
Mario: "What about you?"  
  
  
Lily: "No."  
  
  
Savianna: "Where's Puffy?"  
  
  
Lily: "Still with Magmore."  
  
  
Savianna: "Drat."  
  
  
Lily: "She said something about coming here eventually."  
  
  
  
Savianna: "Good! Then Magmore's angels will be together again."  
  
  
Lily: "Your brother isn't coming is he?"  
  
  
Savianna: "Not sure. I hope not."  
  
  
Lily: "Why not?"  
  
  
Savianna: "I get enough of him at home."  
  
  
Lily: "Oh, yeah."  
  
  
Mallow: "Hello?"  
  
  
Savianna: "Yea?"  
  
  
Mallow: "Weren't we going to help the chancellor?"  
  
  
Lily: "Sure. Let's go."  
  
  
They got to the throne room. They got into a BATTLE!!!!  
  
  
Mack: "Prepare yourself."  
  
  
Savianna: "Of course."  
  
  
Instead of 4 Shysters with him, there were 12.   
  
  
Savianna Power Released: Magmore's Angels. A dark man appeared. He was sitting on a chair and almost no light around him. Savianna, Lily, and another angel, Puffy, were standing near him. Puffy looked close to the other two, only she's blond. Savianna is a redhead, and Puffy looks slightly Oriental.  
  
  
Puffy: "Can we?"  
  
  
Magmore: "Yes."  
  
  
The three angels walked toward Mack and the Shysters and posed like Charlie's Angels.   
  
  
Savianna: "Time to let loose."  
  
  
Lily: "Yeah!"  
  
  
Savianna grabbed one of the Shysters, threw him up in the air, jumped up, and kicked him into five of the other Shysters. Lily shot arrows into the other Shysters, cut off their springs with her sword, and started banging their heads together. Puffy went straight for Mack. She ran up him, back flipped off his head and kicked his spring. Mack couldn't balance himself and fell to the ground. *battle over*  
  
  
Puffy: "Whoohoo! That was fun!!"  
  
  
Savianna: "Yeah! I love to let loose!"  
  
  
Lily: "Now what?"  
  
  
Magmore: "Yes, I'm sure you had fun."  
  
  
Puffy: "Yep!"  
  
  
Lily: "Maybe we should go on with this."  
  
  
Savianna: "Ok. We have a star. Let's get the next six."  
  
  
Mallow: "Huh?"  
  
  
Lily: "You should ask your grandpa."  
  
  
Mallow: "Ok. My grandpa? The cricket pie! I'll go get it!"  
  
  
Mario: "Go ahead. I'll stay here with the l...l....ladies..... Ugh...."  
  
  
Savianna: "SHUT UP!"   
  
  
Savianna spin-kicked Mario.   
  
  
Mario: "Owwww......."  
  
  
They made it to Rose Town and were playing with Gaz. When they were done, let's just say that Mario was unconcious, the angels were just fine, Gaz had a bit of a headache, and Mallow was smart enough to stay out of it, and Magmore was ignoring them.  
  
  
Next time, Geno and maybe a few others will join. I'll try to have them collect star pieces each chapter now. 


End file.
